SELF-HELP 101

 I find myself at a loss for words trying to find a way to start this post. I know I have mentioned before in the past year how the virus had changed me. No. I didn't have the virus. We drove about 70 miles to another city in MO the first week of February to get our first shot and then drove Friend Fran 120 miles to another town to get her first shot. It was so hard in the beginning. Now of course, it is very easy but many people are not getting the shot. I don't understand why, but that's not the reason for this post.

For most of my adult life I have always stayed busy. The only time that I wasn't active is when I would be reading a book. And even then it was not uncommon for me to feel like I should be "doing something". I went so far as to judge my happiness by how much I got done. When Spring Break was over, for example, and I had to go back to teaching, if fellow coworkers asked me if I had had a good break, my answer depended on how much I had accomplished. I never slept late because I felt like I was sleeping the day away. Wayne on the other hand, liked staying up late and then sleeping late.

After retiring from 25 years in the classroom, I finally had time to do some of the things that interested me that I hadn't been able to do because of work. Who would know that two years later we would be leaving Ventura, CA after 21 years and moving to Kansas City, MO. It only took me a couple of months to become my active, busy little self and it all started by finding a church and joining the United Methodist Women's group. At the first meeting, I told the ladies that my husband played golf and was interested in finding someone to play with. That very night several men called him. Through those contacts, he found some golf buddies and I met Ann, one of the wives. Ann became not my BFF but my BBF (Bestest Best Friend). She took me to a Coffee for the Northland New Neighbors' League and I joined the group that very day. They had so many different activities going on. I quickly became familiar with the area and made many friends which is the purpose of the league. I learned to play canasta and improved my quilting skills. I learned it wasn't a waste of time to sit and read a good book and then discuss it with friends. My calendar quickly became filled and I told Wayne, "that's what retirement should be."

Fast forward about 11 years and almost overnight our life totally changed. We returned from our 10 - day trip back from Ventura on Saturday March 6 and by the next weekend the city had shut down and so did our life. Everything was just so surreal. It was like "Cabin Fever" times 10. We would take drives without stopping anywhere or talking to anyone. Making masks became my new activity for a few months. Another big change for me was not being concerned if I didn't get to something because I knew tomorrow was going to be the same. That is the change that now bothers me the most.

Before COVID I would put off things, but if I thought of something I needed to do and it wasn't going to take too long, I would stop and do it if it was possible.  But with COVID, I took the attitude of Scarlet in Gone With the Wind; "I'll think about that tomorrow." 

Now that we are fully vaccinated and the country is opening back up, I am back to doing some things but also find myself being selfish with my time. I am also a terrible procrastinator. I find it very easy to "waste" a lot of time as I would think of it. On days that I don't have an appointment or a gathering of friends - Blankets of Hope at church and canasta with friends, I would often find myself saying stuff like. "Gosh is it already noon?" or "Where has the day gone?" 

Another thing I find myself saying when talking to others is a profound - "I don't recognize myself." Many of my friends aren't aren't going that far, but they are also experiencing the same feelings that I am. I finally decided it was time to make some changes.

It took me a few days to actually put it in place after deciding that was what I needed to do, but that shouldn't come as a surprise with the new me I have described. The THAT that I am talking about is simply making a TO DO LIST each day. 

AND I can report after just two weeks of implementing it, I feel and see improvements. It's still a work in progress. It did take me 10 days to finally getting around to vacuuming the back porch, the room we added onto the back of the house two years ago. I just call it the back porch. And a couple of things I still haven't done. At least now seeing it written down generally makes me get up and go do it.

When I finally actually starting the list, I just grabbed a note pad that was long and narrow, like a grocery list pad. Since it is working, I plan to get a spiral notebook and use it. I just check off if I accomplish the item on the list. Except for a couple of things, I don't rewrite an item that I didn't get around to. When I finally do, I just go back to when I wrote it down and date it. By dating it, I can see the improvement. 

"Should you decide to accept this assignment" (I know...I'm dating myself, but I just couldn't help it.) you can, of course, set up your list any way that works for you. Here is a picture of just one of my days..

Now if I can just come up ways to improve some other areas of my life.

I've also felt it would be beneficial to start a support group. It always helps me when I discover that others are going through similar circumstances. I would appreciate any feedback you might have to offer. Just leave your comments in the comment section.

I also try to be as positive as I can. This is the picture I posted today on Facebook.